America Has Two Sons

A father has two sons. One he mistreats, never gives him a proper meal, he is locked in a barn. This child has never seen the light of day, and has never been offered the opportunity to have an education. Denied the ability to read, write and formulate words to place accurately in a sentence; he is sociably challenged and emotionally inept ……. The other son has been provided the best that life has to offer. He has experienced excellent life training. He attends the finest secondary school, having received training in vocation, and general technical skills.  He then attends a hand-picked university such as Harvard, Yale or Brown. He has eaten at the best restaurants, worn the finest clothes. He later goes on to receive the highest humanitarian award…. the Nobel Peace Prize.  The father watches with great anticipation as his second son receives his award.  He remembers all the sacrifice he has offered as his second son reaches for his most coveted award…  In the midst of the proud father’s glory; an elderly man walks up to him and taps him on his shoulder.  He reminds him that he has another son that has been mistreated. The elderly man continues by reminding the proud father of the mistreatment that he offered the first son and it scourges the heart of the once proud father. The father hurries home, unlocks the door, hugs his first son around the neck and says to him, "I have treated you badly; I have kept you from forming a life of your own. Go! Start a life for yourself.  I make you equal with your brother…. How can the first child make it in life and compete on the same level as the second child?  They don’t share the same background; they don’t share the same experience. Marketability has been altered for one of the sons.…

     Jesse Jackson once said “ the reason the African Americans can compete and excel in athletics is because the rules are the same for all that enter the sport”….when the playing field is equal the black family can prosper….

We have to equal the playing field by pushing education….reading to our children, taking time to learn what they know in school and then help them….visit their school and sit in class with them, become advocates for other children in your child’s class……This is how we even the playing field….. When the majority of our children reach jail before they reach high school, we as a community, have failed our family….

America has two sons... America has two families…

Just as the first son earlier mentioned, we were mistreated, abused, and ashamed.  We were not afforded the same opportunity. Upon release from slavery- we were not allowed to eat where others ate, refused the right to assemble, dismissed from educational establishments, and refused the right to fight for our country. We were misled, misguided and locked away from normal functioning society.  We have consistently been kept out of the global market….. You find in laws that the language is written to mean one thing for someone with financial backing, yet something entirely different for one that is impoverished.  

 Here is an example….. a child walks in a courtroom…..he is charged with breaking curfew, drinking under age, using abusive language in public, and publicly exposing himself….As he is sitting in court, here enters his pastor…This  well-connected minister sits on the community service board; a group of highly influential citizens who greatly affect political outcomes.  He takes the stand in the youth's defense, expounding on the young man’s family history. He states that although the youth has attended church regularly, he has been struggling with identity issues for the past couple of years. He further tells of the duress associated with his girlfriend becoming pregnant.  He has had a difficult time finding a job….His father didn’t receive his annual raise they have suffered dramatically… The minister’s affiliations give him space to influence the judge. He mentions that the youth has received counseling.  The church has coupled with a member of the parish to offer him a job…He has promised to become an asset to his community…..The judge listens to the well-connected pastor and continues his ruling…… "I find you guilty of the charges…. I sentence you to fifty hours of community service…..But, I will rule a “finding under advisement” meaning that after a certain amount of time, this charge will be sealed and will not be found on the your record." This ruling will not keep the youth from fulfilling a career or attending college; and it will disappear from his record altogether if he stays out of trouble for a determined amount of time… This ruling will not take him off of the streets for any length of time, it will not remove him from his home and it will not have this child raised by a detention system to degrade him….

Another child enters the courtroom. This child is related to the first son before mentioned…he has the identical charges…….His pastor enters the court room …….He too is known as a champion of his community. He sits as the head of the civic league…..The community service board for his neighborhood lies on the cork board in his local barber shops.  He has all of the credentials of the first pastor, except he is not as well connected to influential people. People in his community are mostly people dejected and are either unable to vote or apathetic to the polital process.  He makes the same offer that the pastor of the second son offers….  This young man also suffers with his identity.  His father was incarcerated. His mother attempted suicide over the father’s conviction...He’s had to raise his younger siblings because his mother works double shifts at the local grocery store.  She can’t be home to help him with his homework….Mom rarely gets to eat dinner with the children because she is still behind on her bills and has to work double shifts at the local grocery…… The pastor further contends in his plea by stating that he too has helped the youth get a job and tutoring after school, He too has received counseling, he too has support from his community……….    The judge sits back in his chair and makes his judgment….. I  FIND YOU GUILTY…. With harsh tone he exclaims,  “ WITH ALL OF THE SUPPORT IN THE COMMUNITY, YOU STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN YOUR ACT TOGETHER, YOUR MOTHER IS DOING ALL SHE CAN TO PROVIDE FOOD FOR YOU AND YOU CONTINUE TO ACT AS A MENACE  IN THE COMMUNITY. I KNOW YOUR FATHER AND YOU ARE SET TO TRAVEL DOWN THE SAME ROAD THAT HE DID…. I SENTENCE YOU TO 30 DAYS IN THE JUVENILE DETENTION CENTER, AFTER 30 DAYS YOU WILL RETURN TO MY COURT AND WE WILL OBSERVE YOUR PROGRESS…IF YOU HAVE HAD EVEN ONE INCIDENT IN THE FACILITY I WILL NOT HESITATE TO GIVE YOU THE FULL SENTENCE OF ONE YEAR IN THE LOCAL JAIL…  The bailiff is then gestured by the judge to handcuff the child and prepare him for transportation to the facility in front of his mother.  The horror of her husband is replayed over again….and now her oldest son…… This sentence sends a message to her other children: “Life is hopeless, why continue in school, why try to be a good citizen, I am going to do what I want to do and make money…. I am tired of eating beans and I am tired of getting picked  on in school because I wear hand-me-downs, I am tired of sitting in the dark because my mom didn’t have money for the light bill,….I am gonna make my money and make my money NOW cause I wanna put my mom in a house too."

Message sent to the mom… I am tired….. No matter what I do, I can’t make it... I would be better off dead and give all of my children to the state to be raised; because despite my best efforts, I just can’t win…..

Message to the community…… We are right to sell drugs; because here is a woman doing all that she can to keep her children off of the streets and even she can’t beat the system….We are going to continue to cheat the system until we get caught…..

The solution and message to the pastor, mother, father and children……. DO NOT ALLOW HOPELESSNESS CAUSE YOU TO LOSE HOPE…..

Uneven Playing fields can be evened….. As a family we have to get interested in law and teach it to our children.  Don’t teach them to fear the law but to respect it…

 

 

The first family has been mistreated, abused, misrepresented and considered nothing more than chattel.  It has been used to strengthen the economy of the second family while not allowing it to make an honest living for itself.  We are people that know how to strive for excellence!!!!  Out of the ashes will we rise?  We will continue to champion great causes.  We will continue to build our families.  We will continue to design great inventions.  We will continue to strive against unjust laws.  We will continue……. We will continue…WE WILL CONTINUE…;

The African American family stems from the African family which was matriarchal (a mother that dominated her family and governs them with care and fairness) in some parts of the continent and patriarchal (male controlled and governed with fairness) in other parts of the continent.  The order and hierarchy of your family essentially depended upon where you lived and what tribe you were born into.  In America, we work from the model that the man is the head of the family, but in parts of pre-colonial Africa, women led the families.  Although it creates disparities, the transition to single motherhood, head of household, is not a far stretch for black women. In matriarchal families the husband remained a strong voice in the family, however, he was not the single voice of authority.

PLEASE KNOW THAT SLAVERY WAS A BRIEF PART IN OUR HISTORY….SLAVERY DID NOT CREATE US, SLAVERY DID NOT DEFEAT US AND SLAVERY WILL NOT DEFINE US….

The African term Kujichagulia (Self-Determination) - To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.  WE HAVE TO BEGIN AGAIN   BY THE POSITION OF…. SELF IDENTIFICATION with a DETERMINATION that was bred in our ancestors…….. WE WILL NO LONGER BE DEFINE  BY OTHERS, BUT WE SEEK TO DEFINE OURSELVES…..WE WILL NOT LOOK TO THE MEDIA TO TELL US WHO WE ARE, WHAT WE CAN DO AND HOW FAR WE CAN GO…WE WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT AGAINST MENTAL GENOCIDE AND  EMBRACE MENTAL COMMUNAL GENTRIFICATION  BY REPAIRING OUR OWN MIND….READING TO OUR OWN CHILDREN, TEACHING OUR OWN HISTORY AT THE DINNER TABLE…NO MORE EXCUSES…TAKE AN OBJECTIVE EXAMINATION AND EVALUATE WHERE YOU ARE…HOW HAS YOUR OWN THINKING OF YOUR FAMILY AFFECTED YOUR OUTCOME….GET RID OF SLAVE THINKING AND BEGIN TO BE THE REPAIRER OF THE BREACH IN YOUR OWN FAMILY….WE CAN DO THIS…………, WE WILL DO THIS…. WE HAVE TO START AND WE HAVE TO START NOW….WE WILL GO INTO THE WASTELAND OF OUR THINKING AND REMOVE THE TRASH THOUGHTS AND REPLACE THEM WITH KNOWLEDGE…. THE WALL IN THE FAMILY STRUCTURE HAS BEEN BREACHED…..BUT WE WILL REBUILD

 Paulo Freire Quoted…..

 

It is absolutely essential that the oppressed participate in the revolutionary process with an increasingly critical awareness of their role as subjects of the transformation.

Paulo Freire

             The pre-colonial continent of Africa was divided into tribal communities which occupied various parts of the country.  The tribes sometimes fought territorial wars.  This dynamic left space for Europeans to come in and convince the Africans to sell out the location of the other tribal communities.  When Europeans came to make a bargain with some of the inhabitants for their brethren, this led to the greatest disparity in the African family that history had ever seen.

       Over 50 million Africans were captured and taken from their families to provide free labor to Europeans who crossed the Atlantic to settle the country of America.  The mother who awoke every morning to prepare a meal for her family would rise to find one of her children missing.  The husband who'd left the home to go handle business in the village would come back to find his bride missing.  They were captured and taken across the Atlantic to endure inhumane conditions which would cause many to die or plunge in the ocean to meet their own death.  They were bound and piled on top of one another to fill a captain’s ship without the privilege of a bathroom.  Sickness and disease would ravage slave ships because of these horrible conditions.

            When they reached American shores they were not grouped according to their native language they were forbidden to speak to one another in the native language and had to learn the language of the new land.  They did not retain their African names. They were given names that their master chose for them.

            Imagine being taken to a place millions of miles away from your family, without knowing the language of those around you. You are forbidden to speak in your native language and given a name that you have no attachment to.  The natural instinct of humanity is to eventually form some system of normalcy where you are.  However, the African people who were essentially family oriented were forbidden to marry and form families when they arrived in America.  The women were allowed to mate with the men for the purpose of creating a large slave population.  However, she was not allowed to keep that child and raise him or her.  The child was sold to another slave master and raised on that plantation.  Additionally, she was forbidden from marrying the father of her child.  The slave master simply did not want family units that competed in loyalty with the duties of slavery.  There is no wonder today why the majority of African American households are headed by single mothers. It is little wonder why the African American male can easily dismiss the mother of his children and many times even the children themselves.  Historically, this is a preset pattern that stems from enslavement.

            The African American family has recovered little of its structure since the times of slavery.  Much has change in terms of civil rights for African Americans, but the family organization has not seemed to be as resilient as the people individually.  Patrick Moynihan did a study in the 1960’s at the request of the U.S. government on the state of the Black family.  He essentially stated that the issues with single motherhood, paternal abandonment, and teenage pregnancy stem from the days of enslavement.  Although slavery was a brief part of the African life in America’s history, we still struggle with the after effects.  Innately we are bred to hold on to our traditional ancestral roots; the difficulty is found in the merging of two roots, Africa and America.

     How do we address the needs of the African family that lives in America?  Since the days of enslavement, our families have gone from one struggle to the next, without reprieve; the effects of which roll down through the generations to create a normal of chaos.  We have to discover that millions of our inner-city children face traumatic experiences daily.  The level of their stressors is the same as those of young people living in Bosnia or other war torn nations.  Although we make some advancement, the constant struggle impedes our progress.  The progress can seem slow and monotonous. We have a number of issues facing our families, but one of the major problems today is poverty in the black communities. 

We have to address the issues of unemployment in our communities…Nearly 16% of African American males are unemployed and more than that are under employed while white America is just under 10%....35% of young black men between the age of 16 and 24 can’t find work. While here in Georgia the unemployment for the Latino is 10.2% according to the Washington Associated Press...  

We can even the playing fields by teaching our children to be entrepreneurs.  Teach them the value of money and how to invest. Money is a tool, Increase their knowledge of the market. Andrew Young stated that we have enough lawyers in the world, now it is time to get an education in finance and business.  Learn how to market yourselves globally and learn how to change the word by learning how to manage money…

The traumatic conditions of impoverished communities lead to a vicious cycle of poverty to crime, to violence, to incarceration, to single parenthood, to poverty, and back to crime. This is reflected in the statistic of recent years showing that nearly 75% of the prison population in America is black men.  This number represents more homes without men and more children without fathers.

Is this recent violence caused by intolerance to civil behavior or can it be linked to Post Traumatic Syndrome or "Post War Syndrome"? The carefree teen years aren't so carefree anymore, when here in Georgia, we lead the nation in youths that transition from elementary to a prison system without ever going to college.....If Georgia leads the nation and our nation leads the world then Georgia leads the planet....... "Intervening when your kid witnesses violence is just a portal," 

Sitting down at the table once in a while will divert many struggles in the family....Let’s get back to the dinner tables and cut off the television, turn off the cell phones and take a day off from mediocre meaningless activities and let’s get back to simple conversations....Our families will thrive when we get back to the basics......

The first, most enduring responsibility of our community is to ensure the health and well-being of its children. Although all of the factors that contribute to creating new young civil-minded citizens are not known, we have to continue to make constant revisions in the way that we handle child welfare. According to Donna E. Shalala, Secretary of Health and Human Services, the world remains at a constant threat of losing its youth. The greatest threat to the lives of children is not disease, starvation or abandonment. It is violence. (Steven E. Hyman M.D.)

Nearly thirty years ago, Lyn Bias was a star among ball players. He was greater than Michael Jordan could ever hope to be. His mother Lonis Bias made sure that her two boys were home before dark and that all of their work was completed before bed. Her two boys were neighborhood role models but as her two boys were killed through drugs and street violence she made a profound discovery….. Dr. Lonis Bias stated that as she made sure that her children were very well taken of, she never considered that those other children in the street were cared for and it was the other children that grew to be incomplete men.  These incomplete men took her boys from her so now she champions causes that affect her community….. The lesson to be learned here is that we extend the family beyond our borders and show love to children like ours, children that have no voice and no one speaking for them……

In conclusion, I have discovered that pain and proper pain management have no boundaries. When children experience traumatic episodes, there must be attention given to them.  Remember that children do not have all of the answers. They are the KINGS AND QUEENS OF "FAKING IT TILL WE MAKE IT" .  We should watch them as they come home from school just as we would a soldier returning home from war.... Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, although it was once reserved for adults, has made great leaps in this generation. Many have replaced the ability to show common kindness with chasing the proverbial dream. That dream has proven very elusive. When our community can take the time to act on behalf of those that have no voice, we can eliminate many of the difficulties that plague our nation. Simple random acts of kindness are still a formidable foe to the evil that can happen. As stated by Lonise Bias" Don’t believe this is Generation X. This is Generation Next......." Let’s love again, let us live again, lets build agai